I stretch my arms and hold my breath,
Pour eternity within my grasp.
I long for the tune of your sacred stillness
Find silence in my chaos.
I am a speck of time untold,
The tiniest grain of sand.
Sweep me into your bursting void
Let me die gently, in your arms.
12 comments:
WoW! Wonderful. :) Happy V Day.
Beautiful, lovely lines. :)
Umm those are pretty lines.
And what possible mood brought forth these lines?
@ Jyothi
Thanks! And same to you too!
@ Aj
Thank you!!
@ Anil Sir
Thats for you to guess..what do you think?
Reminds me of John Denver's 'You fill up my senses'.
Pretty phrases, R, but,it is a collage of images; incoherent, inchoate. Weave your images and words easily, simply and elegantly. You have the silk yarn; all you need is a pattern to work on.
Yesterday when I made a few suggestions on a blog about her writings and photos, another friend of hers came to her defense like a snarling cat, saying that the writer has every freedom to write whatever he/she wants.
So, don't take my above comment as a harsh criticism or trying to tell you how to write a poem. What I said may be wrong, but it is just an opinion, not a judgement.
I am not sure these days whether I should stick to simple superlatives in my comments!
Oh no , no Mr B...i don't mind it at all...
I suppose it might be little incoherent..i was not thinking of all that while writing , there was no , editing , re-writing , nothing..it was just straight out of my head..
I get what you're saying..will try to work on it from next time!!
And come on , Mr B , any criticism from you , however harsh, is always welcome..
How do you take such a deep dive into moods from this noisy air around....? Amazingly beautiful doo..
Good effort....simple and touching
pretty intersting
This is good...
Let me die?? is it worth it?
very nice..
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